13 months in 6 minutes

a weekend away and a return to stress

2009-06-03T02:25:00.012-05:00

so, i take my MCAT in like, 15 days. am trying to tell myself that everything will be fine, but it's easier said than done. throw in the stress of finding a job after it's over, a little boy trouble and just general uncertainty and you have quite the cocktail.

all this of course called for a weekend away. so i took off for tahoe with a few good friends and my fairy godmother and spent three days at the lake.

this was the view walking down from the house. i've spent time in tahoe, but it's a special thing to have a house on the lake, as my dear gina does, and so the views were quite majestic just twenty feet outside the door.

the water, which you can sort of see in the picture above, is basically almost crystal clear. a tad on the chilly side, but rarely have i wanted to dive into a lake so badly.

beautiful, right? so i picked up jenn at SFO friday morning, we stopped at the market to grab about 100 limes and avocados, and we made it to tahoe about three and half hours later, where a group of lovely ladies was waiting to hand us maragaritas made with fresh citrus and Patron. a dinner of grilled tri-tip and pasta salad and several lovely bottles of wine and a skype call with a friend who couldn't make it later, we all were exhausted and passed out.

we spent the next day heading to a bar that's basically on a dock, and then took the boat for a spin and caught some sun. as you can see, i'm quite tan. kind of amazing.

jenn is too adorable for words.

got home and opened the grey goose and had martinis, and then we all took a nap (tired from sun and drinking) and then roused ourselves enough to order a cab to a restaurant. they were worried about the weather so were not serving fine dining on the patio, but we waited out there with a drink while they prepared our table and caught a great sunset.

dinner was delicious. lots of great wine, and i had scallops stuffed with crab meat and pesto on little risotto cakes and a stellar salad. then it was cabbing it home, more wine, a chocolate birthday cake for gina and drunken talking on the dock until the wee hours.

i woke up early and sunned on the dock, listening to music and just relaxing.

the next day we hit emerald bay and ventured into nevada. views were fairly spectacular there, as well.

all in all, it was a fabulous little get away, and while i've struggled monday and today with getting myself back on track, it was great to see my friends and get some fresh air.

so... who wants to visit? ;)

sigh.

2008-06-26T11:54:00.002-05:00

so, apparently the only thing that can motivate me to update this blog is to have emily yell at me to do so. sadly, very little has been going on in the last few months that's worth reporting.... although i'm slightly concerned a piano's going to fall on my head this week. my father had hip replacement surgery two months ago, and about a month after that, my sister broke her wrist and had surgery. now, my mother calls me to tell me that she fell off her bike and broke her arm, and she just had surgery yesterday.

emily assures me bad things happen in threes, but i can't help but feel slightly nervous every time i walk outside this week. am i NEXT?? eeps.

in other news, i pinched my sciatic nerve, which was a huge bitch. it's been nearly a month, and sitting for extended times is still difficult. i either need to be on my back or standing up walking around, and not everything one does is conducive to those two positions. sigh.

jeremy arrived mid-may, and it's been great to see him... i'm glad he's in the bay area in the sun and relaxing, and he seems to be happier since he got here. i missed him a lot.

i'm still at the hotline at the San Francicsco AIDS Foundation -- i'm doing the AIDS walk in July. if anyone would be willing to donate to the walk, let me know, and if you're in the city and want to join my team, even better...

be kind, please unwind.

2008-02-11T21:38:00.000-06:00

it was megan's birthday on sunday, and to celebrate her 29th year, emily, noelle, jess, megan and i went to kabuki spa for a morning to relax and unwind. the main attraction of kabuki is their communal baths. we spent over two hours relaxing in the sauna, steam room, hot bath and cold plunge.

the sore neck i'd been battling for days disappeared, and we then lunched on soba and sushi and took a nap before people dropped by our house to celebrate with good food, a cake and wine.

a weekend of sunshine.

2008-02-11T19:27:00.000-06:00

the weekend before school started, frances, marisa, john and i packed up the car and dorjee and headed for pt. reyes for a picnic. needless to say, the weather was outstanding and the day was perfection. after eating quiche, fresh fruit, pumpkin-cheescake cupcakes and drinking a bottle of wine, we hung out in the surf and soaked up the sun. on the way home, we stopped at an oyster farm and had the freshest oysters i've ever encountered...and people wonder why i love it here.

apparently i don't look like anyone...

2008-02-11T19:26:00.001-06:00

...because these are not true at all.

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

a very Bakke/Bauer christmas

2007-12-25T15:26:00.000-06:00

so, despite the fact that i did NOT attend high school in stillwater, i am still allowed at the annual christmas reunion at angie's parents' house. which is very handy, because i get to see some of my favorite people all in one holiday extravaganza, complete with beef sausage, spreadable cheese, karaoke and other midwestern favorites. not only that, but everytime i sleep at a bakke household, i have the pleasure of sleeping on some of the world's best air mattresses. that family seems to top themselves every time i sleep over, and this year was no exception.

plus, i even managed to make it to stillwater without dying, even though there had been a massive blizzard and it was CRAZY windy. i swung by the bauers' and picked up emily and lucy and then we began the trek out to the middle of nowhere to casa de bakke.

california drivers suck.

2007-12-06T01:17:00.000-06:00

okay, here's the thing. i KNOW i bitch non-stop about how shitty the drivers are in this sunny state. but seriously. i bought a new car about six weeks ago.

and it has been hit THREE times. THREE. WHILE PARKED.

i was picking lydia up in the mission about three weeks ago, and she went to get in the passenger side and the door only opened halfway. turns out some asshole hit me in my school parking lot and didn't leave a note. and i don't have collision insurance, because i'm a poor bastard and can't afford it.

someone swiped the front bumper a week later, scraping paint off.

and last night, i leave marisa's house at eleven-thirty or so and go to open my driver's side door and it snaps back shut! because someone hit me in the SAME spot that the passenger side was hit, and now BOTH doors barely open. at least this time i got a note. actually, i got TWO notes. one from someone saying they watched someone hit my car and speed away and left me their license plate. (i can only assume this sweet, wonderful soul has been hit and no one left THEM a note, and they feel my pain. and they live in CA, so the chances are pretty high i'm right)

the person who hit me ALSO returned and left a note. either they felt guilty or just realized someone might have seen them, but all i can say is, debby better have insurance.

on the plus side, lindsey comes tomorrow! yay! i'm so excited!

my program is a cult.

2007-11-27T12:57:00.000-06:00

my classmates are so great. they're a great support system, they're great to study with and more importantly, they're a blast to hang out with...

i promise, we're really studying a lot.

loving the bay...

2007-11-27T12:49:00.000-06:00

so, i haven't blogged in quite a while.. i'll try to catch up. might as well pick up in october or so.

it's been a long time since i had a party for my birthday -- it's been at bars for quite a few years, and so this time i decided to throw it at my house. it's plenty big, and that way we could make food.

well, good i head in theory. and it was TONS of fun, but such a mess! and my poor roommates... i was heading to sacramento the next morning and left them with the ugliest mess there ever was. but i'm pretty sure everyone enjoyed themselves. new friends mixed with old and everyone got drunk. sign of a good party.

here i am...

2007-08-23T23:27:00.000-05:00

finally, i made it to the west coast. i got here last wed. with ella after an incredibly long drive. on tuesday we drove all the way from omaha to salt lake city! i think i'm going to have to stay here forever, because i NEVER want to drive
through provo canyon again with a rental truck towing a car. Oh my
god, so scary! i thought my break pads were going to start on fire!

it is so incredibly beautiful here... the weather is fantastic. 78 and
sunny every day, and cool at night. my house is absolutely beautiful,
i got so lucky. you could film a cooking show in my kitchen. and my
bedroom looks out on a huge garden with a pond. i have a lemon tree in
my backyard. :)

i don't start school until next week, so i've just been enjoying
relaxing and settling in. ella was here until sunday, and i took her
into san francisco and we did some touristy stuff. it only takes
twenty minutes on the train to get to downtown from my house in
berkeley, so that's cool.

berkeley is SO beautiful. there are glorious, lush gardens EVERYWHERE.
all you smell is flowers when you walk down my block. this morning and
yesterday morning my roommate and i went for a run by our house in
strawberry canyon. a bunch of it is uphill, which sucks, but when you
get to the top, you have a beautiful view of the bay and san francisco
and oakland.

the west coast is the best coast...

2007-07-13T01:14:00.001-05:00

...or so says schmegan, and i'm about to find out in about three and a half weeks. megs found me a roommie named emily in berkeley, and my sis and i are driving coast country in my shitty ford taurus with all the crap it can carry. shoul be swell. and all of this is made possible because my dad finally agreed to co-sign on a forty thousand dollar loan -- and the best part was, he agreed after taking me out for dinner, and i got to hear the news while eating bourbon scallops wrapped in phyllo dough.

i must say, i'm kinda going to miss wisconsin -- the scenery, at any rate. after ignoring it for so long when i was growing up, i feel i can finally appreciate what the midwest has to offer asthetically. it's enough to make a girl weep.

luckily, i'm heading somewhere beautiful, so i think i'll get over it relatively quickly. ;)

strange thoughts...

2007-06-21T17:59:00.001-05:00

today at work, i ps'd two men together, a father and a son. this isn't
anything that special, i add or subtract people from photographs
several times a week if not every day. I generally view them in terms
of difficulty or absurdity, but today i sat there thinking about why
exactly it is that people do this.

with this particular photo, it was a twenty-something son standing
alone on a fishing boat on a trip he'd taken with a friend, holding up
an enormous catch. He has sunlight directly on his face, and a shadow
from the brim of his hat. it is a scan from a 4x6 print. last year he
died.

the father i'm to insert into this photograph is in shadow next to a
house, and he's hugging his daughter. His right shoulder isn't
visible, and her arm snakes around his waist and crosses over his left
arm. the photograph to scan is a somewhat mangled 4x6 print with the
date 6-07-02 stamped on the bottom.

it wasn't a particularly easy job -- i had to rebuild the man's arm
and mess with the photograph considerably to try to mimic the lighting
conditions in the photo of the son. still, when i was finished, it was
nearly impossible to tell that this moment had never happened. and i
found myself wondering -- now that the family had photographic "proof"
of this moment, could they, WOULD THEY eventually create the memory
themselves? would, after a period of time, the father remember having
his arm around his kid while he held up his fish? would he tell
himself what it was like to take that trip with his son three summers
ago -- what the weather was like, how many fish were caught?

with how often i do this for people, i can't help but wonder their
motivation. is it simply a way of displaying family together, despite
the fact that some have passed away, or some couldn't make the trip
home for the wedding? or are they actually trying to convince
themselves of a moment that was manipulated and created entirely by my
hand?

the food, the food!

2007-04-11T00:09:00.000-05:00

so, here's a little recap of the food we ate while in new york. the pics are from ang and emily, since they were the ones with those new-fangled, lightweight digital cameras....

(me enjoying soup dumplings)

(em at momofuku)

(angie loves saams...)

back in chi-town

2007-04-04T14:36:00.000-05:00

so, after an exhausting yet exhilarating weekend in NY, angie and i returned to the midwest and were greeted by eighty degree weather and an aviator sunglasses-clad michael.

we headed to bar on buena for some tasty burgers and some drinks, but stopped to take a few pics on the way....

New York Part 2

2007-03-31T19:03:00.000-05:00

Continuing the fun, we had a fantastic lunch of saams (which is my favorite new food), then headed to cafecito for numerous mojitos. we finally made our way to happy hour at emily's work, so by the time we made it to the Whitney at eight, the woman behind the desk wondered how much fun we'd actually been having already.

i did get to see the Lorna Simpson exhibit, which was nice, and we picked up jeremie, a guy i work with in eau claire who was in the city as well and headed to the LES to drink at the magician. we finished up the evening with a slice of pizza and we looked at pictures until about four-thirty in the morning. angie and i realized that we'd actually met in 1999 at emily's 20th birthday, which was quite a surprise.

saturday we grabbed a coffee and headed to MOMA, taking in the Jeff Wall exhibit. we met up with eamonn and then ended up wandering around the west village. i took a few snaps as well...

New York Part 1

2007-03-31T18:48:00.000-05:00

So... finally back and caught up on sleep, i'm able to process my trip. the whole experience was rather surreal considering angie and i temporarily took up residence in chicago airports on thurs.

hoping to get the most our of our weekend, we'd planned to leave thrus early afternoon to get to NY by four. arriving at midway, we immediately discovered our flight was canceled. after throwing and utter fit at the Delta Airlines counter, we found ourselves purchasing shuttle tickets to midway where we had seats booked on a United flight leaving at five. a bit of delay, but we're relaxed girls, so we can roll with the punches, right?

an hour later, we were still in a van picking up pilots and bringing them BACK to midway, angie having it out the shuttle company on the phone. when we did arrive at O'Hare at three, we found our flight delayed until six.

six hours, two ice cream cones, a quizno's sandwich and a nine dollar glass of pinot grigio from an airport bar later, we finally boarded a flight. i had tried to keep my sense of humor through the whole thing, but frankly, i pretty much hit a wall about twenty minutes before we boarded. apparently, my crabbiness was still intact when we landed, b/c i almost took out three flight attendants by the baggage claim at LaGuardia with my tripod who were shrieking shrilly.

after a crazy cab ride with stop and go traffic, we finally arrived at casa d'emily at around 1 am. she greeted us with booze, cheese, salami and hugs, and all the shittiness of the day quickly evaporated. i have to say, if i had to get stuck in an airport for hours, i'm glad it was with angie.

friday emily had to work for awhile, so angie and i headed to soho and did a little shopping. it was raining, but i still managed to snag a pair of boots and a shirt from uniqlo.

i took a few pics before angie and left em's.

alright, alright already.

2007-02-21T11:33:00.000-06:00

okay, so emily gave me shit for not updating my blog since, oh, i don't know... july? maybe it's because i feel i have no real gems of wisdom to pass on to the three people or so who read this. or, maybe it's because i forgot my password for about six months and couldn't actually get in to my blog and considered starting a new one rather than continuing to fuck with it.

but, i perservered, and now here we are. so let's see...

well, i've pretty much mutilated my finger nails while i wait to hear back from post-bacc pre-med programs. because let's just get it out in the open. if you can't admit in a public forum, where can you? i'm terrified that i'm not going to get in this year (i could really only afford to apply to five schools between act scores ($112), application fees ($300 +) and transcripts ($70).)
so, basically, i'm an emotional wreck right now. because i'm going to freak out if i don't get to go to school this fall and i'm living in eau claire and working some shit-ass job that's more annoying than my job in chicago and pays half as much. if iDO get in, then i would like to say that i spent the year enjoying time with my family and getting a break from the stress of the big city. so, see? it really all depends on my mood at this point.

and i'm waiting for a tripod to support my big-ass camera, so i'm unable to take pictures right now. but, i will post a picture that i found recently while digging through my old negs that i took of lindsey in like, 2002 and another of my friends gabe and lindsay with an "a".

my so-called life...

2006-07-09T18:46:00.000-05:00

the past few months have been a total blur.....

i moved, left my job, the art world, split up with my boyfriend of a couple years and went back to school for medicine. honestly, i haven't felt too much like talking about it, and it's been a really hard adjustment. all i want to do is sleep, eat popsicles and watermelon, run at the gym and watch general hospital. i'm not sure if that's classified as depression, but who knows. i think it's been a really long time since i let myself really feel disappointed, scared, angy or hurt. (and they say artist's are supposed to be good at that sort of thing.) i'd rather just stare at jason thompson all day -- i think he's ofically ruined other men for me. i think it's the first time since brad pitt was in legends of the freakin' falls or jared leto was on my so-called life that i had any interest in some actor on television. but who wouldn't want to look at his face?

so.. here i am. starting all over again at 25 and figuring, what the hell? why not? it can only go up from here, right?

the blustery day.

2006-04-06T20:24:00.000-05:00

poor carolyn. she got up before dawn to help me with a photo project and the weather was awful. we're hoping to re-shoot, but i feel so bad dragging her out of bed once again. she's such a good sport. i snapped some cute pictures of her nonetheless...

london, huh?

2006-03-21T23:26:00.000-06:00

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern.
A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.
A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.
No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

so much for nice weather...

2006-03-16T18:02:00.000-06:00

so after the beautiful weather we had on sat, the lake looked rather menacing today. by the time i got downtown... snow. now it's all wet outside and so windy. i hope spring is stil around the corner.

deliver me from london

2006-03-15T18:26:00.000-06:00

my cat is a demon. she wakes me up everyday. everyday starting at 4:30 in the morning. crying. relentless. i cant take it.

sushi + zoe + angie = happy

2006-03-12T23:02:00.000-06:00

oh delicious. angie and i went to new tokyo last night and had the most delectable meal. i'm hard pressed to say what was the best.... the california roll with mango, the BBQ eel or the single, delicious, mouthwatering tosted scallop. what a great end to my week. i love that restaurant. a.) it is close to my house. b.) it is super cheap c.) it is fresh and fantastic. i dare another chicagoan to find me better sushi at that price.

beautiful

2006-03-11T16:07:00.000-06:00

it is absolutely gorgeous in chicago today. breezy, 66 degrees, sunny. i couldn't have asked for a nicer day and it put me in such a good mood. i'm making homemade lasagne and all the windows are thrown open. my house smells so good, like fresh air, tomatoes and garlic. this is exactly what i needed to revive me.

oh, art school.

2006-03-08T19:25:00.000-06:00

so i get to work today, and my co-worker has decorated above our desks with this. (i guess you would call it an installation?) as you can see, the lights are held up with a fork. and they say i'm the one losing my shit.

terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

2006-03-08T00:07:00.000-06:00

today i was told in more ways than one that i need to use some of my paid time off. apparently it is more obvious than i thought that my fuse is about a cm long and that it doesn't take much to light it anymore. so now i have a four day weekend approaching and i am determined to make the best of it. i'm going to force clint out and give us some fresh air (if we can find any in chicago.) he has been trapped in front of his computer for weeks writing and we're both kind of a misery to be around -- good thing misery loves company. i'm so lucky to have someone who not only tolerates my bad moods, but really does little to imply that he's noticed that i'm tired and kind of a bitch.
on a positive note, i've finally completed my book and am ready to mail it out to a list of people who have patiently waited. i've been in the studio a lot lately, and it does feel good to work well into the night like that. especially when i'm alone. it's hard to find time to myself like that anymore.

freaks and geeks

2006-03-01T23:43:00.000-06:00

so i went to central camera today to buy film, and i really loathe going to that place. especially when i get waited on by this guy that reminds me that having breasts can really be an unfortunate thing. today he told me that to receive my staff discount he wanted a blood sample and a lock of hair so that he could clone me and make thousands of copies. but that's almost too stupid to mention. the real treat was leaving work today. I saw this homeless man on the corner of state and jackson. he had caution tape as a belt and was directing traffic like a symphony. he was so earnest, i didn't really know how to respond to the whole thing. it almost made up for having to be downtown for work in the first place.

pity party for one, your table is ready...

2006-03-01T21:40:00.000-06:00

i just wanted to stay in bed this morning. i actually stayed home from work yesterday because my left tonsil had swollen up to the size of a grapefruit. kind of unpleasant. i am postive, however, that it is getting harder and harder (maybe impossible) to get up and go to my job. i feel so overwhelmed with all the things i need to accomplish when i'm there, that i essentially just completely shut down. in addition, i get almost zero acknowledgement for anything i do and get paid minor duckets. i find myself leaving earlier when i used to work well into the night on my own work and just end up at home watching bad late night television. and i'm not sure what's more depressing than that. i'm re-working my way through all the classics on my bookshelf as well, and i am reminded of how much i do not like dickens. i think i'm torturing myself in more ways than one.

i don't like shrimp but i sure like the pineapple....

2006-02-28T18:18:00.000-06:00

so my friend angie and i went out to this thai place called sticky rice for her birthday and it just might be my new favorite restaurant. the food is awesome. even though we did not order the thai omelet with ant eggs, nor did we attempt the deep fried bamboo caterpillars or the blood soup, we did have a delicious thai experience. (try the golden baskets.) my friends kelly and andre and amanda came with us (kelly and andre first introduced me to sticky rice, those geniuses) and then we went to my favorite bar, the ten cat where more friends and clint joined us. all in all, it was a night of favorites. (if you want to check out more pictures from the night check out angie's blog in my links. she's got em all.)

yuck.

2006-02-27T16:35:00.000-06:00

so, i hurt my knee like two weeks ago. and it still looks terrible. i haven't had a skinned knee since i was in grade school, and it must be true that kids are more resilient, because i don't remember it being such a pain in the ass to have a scab. everytime i bend my knee it hurts like hell.

i feel old and ridiculously juvenile at the same time.

oh boy.

2006-02-27T14:56:00.000-06:00

this is the kind of thing i said i would never do. assume that everyone else wanted to read my everyday thoughts. interesting. when i was little i had a journal (there was a rainbow and a unicorn on it) but the best thing about it was the lock. it was a combination lock with letters and i thought the idea that my thoughts were secret was just about the most exciting thing i could imagine. granted, anyone could have pulled of that flimsy little lock. but, hey. i was about seven or eight.

now i'm doing the opposite. so here goes.